A FEW ENGULPHING FACTS
Actual facts engulfing Stefan des Lauriers, the self-proclaimed musician and raconteur remain spotty at best. Abandoned on the doorstep of a mystical lumberjack commune with a rusty harmonica, the artist cut his teeth entertaining construction workers with said harp. His career as the "Little Harmonica Boy" was almost snuffed at the age of three falling out of his floating sandbox while building castles in quicksand. Delving in sand was the stirring of a rare but fake Ozymandias Complex.
Forced to play ice hockey, the artist as a stick handler scored two goals. Excelled as a rink rat, scraping the ice for flat-pick money. Almost killed by an errant locomotive returning from a saddle washing excursion at Mohawk Raceway. Other gigs included part time petunia handler at the Royal Canadian Yacht Club and itinerant jackhammer operator. Performed in coffeehouses. Known for his whimsical way with a frying pan. Allegedly worked the midnight shift at an alarm company where he began perfecting the the illfated Wind-up Monkey Dance.
The following excerpts were unearthed in a bogus catalogue of fake movie sound tracks at the Helsinki Airport on Sept. 9, 1972:
Even Cowbirds Pay Their Dues
Soundtrack featuring numerous car hoods being opened and closed profusely to the strains of jackhammer staccato. "Regret opening the beast at the Bohemian Field Naturalist's Club."
Talking Forest
Based on Talking Forest Fire Fighting Blues, the mock-documentary placed burnt-out hippies allegedly fighting fires in the hot spot. "The lunches were unbearable, as a matter of fact the bears would steal them and then bring them back."
The Lonesome Demise of a Wretched Poetry Coat
When moths devoured poetry inscribed in a paint-splotched overcoat the artist became an air conditioned, edited, walking anthology. The sole remaining word "ambition" is kept in guarded condition. "Most the paint never made it to the canvas."
Cows in Disguise
Allegedly working as an armed human scarecrow at a cherry farm, the artist mistook the word "crow" to be "cow." Claiming to have been momentarily distracted by news of men landing on the moon, the artist insists the cow was inflatable. "So many things I would have done but cows got in my way."
McBeth and McBath
Film score to accompany a play performed in a hamburger franchise disintegrated into a mock-documentary of traveling sales teams taking McBaths. "They weren't acting, they were taking a real bath."
Let Me Plug it In
The artist as a cage boy at the Arctic Circle Circus lulled hapless reindeers to sleep with his electric harmonica. Alas, there was an unfortunate incident with one of his charges. "Had aspirations to purchase an electric guitar but that was just a pipe dream plugged into a thundercloud."
Symphony in A Flat Tire
The artist was standing in the back of a 1953 GMC pick-up truck with his electric harmonica still plugged in when the vehicle apparently left him, like a dangling participle, behind. "Fortunately it was an inflatable harmonica."
"My Kingdom For an Inflatable Harmonica"
A seventeen year hiatus followed the near futile harmonica accident. Hiatus ended when the artist was pronounced dead on Valentine's day, 1994. Insists he was just visiting the other realm and could almost reach out and touch Elvis' gold lamŽ jacket. The artist was allegedly revived and plays a unique style of guitar.
Reached at his Glen Ridge retreat the once magniloquent poet would only comment on the harmonica handed down to him by his late father before he died in a freak lumberjack accident diving off a bridge through a number of logs.
The artist states that his father told him in passing "Not to play the harmonica with your mouth full". Being quite ornery the artist refused this noteworthy advice and went through a lot of harmonicas in his lifetime, which spanned a few rivers and numerous floods.